Picard “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?”

Geordi “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.”

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

Riker looks puzzled. “What the hell is ‘Microsoft’?”

Data turns to answer. “Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called ‘Windows’, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.”

Picard “But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won’t they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?”

Data “Yes, Captain. But when ‘Windows’ detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an ‘upgrade’. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.”

Picard “Excellent work. This is even better than that ’unsolvable geometric shape’ idea.”

.. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .

Data “Captain, We have successfully installed the ‘Windows’ in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected ‘upgrade’.”

Geordi “Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an ‘upgrade’ to compensate for their increase.”

Picard “Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed.”

Data “Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the ’upgrade’. Apparently, the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.

Riker “Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . .”

Geordi, excited “Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !”

Picard “Data, what do your scanners show?”

Data “Apparently the Borg have found the internal ‘Windows’ module named ‘Solitaire’ and it has used up all the CPU capacity.”

Picard “Lets wait and see how long this ‘solitaire’ can reduce their functionality.”

.. . . Two Hours Pass . . .

Riker “Geordi what’s the status on the Borg?”

Geordi “As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have set up, our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more ‘Windows’ modules from something called the ‘Microsoft fun-pack’.

Picard “How much time will that buy us ?”

Data “Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours.”

Geordi “Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.”

Picard “Identify.”

Data “It appears to have markings very similar to the
‘Microsoft’ logo”

Over the speakers “THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS”

Data “The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects.”

Picard “Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft”

Riker “Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!”

Data “I don’t believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer, I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits”

Riker and Picard together horrified “Lawyers !!”

Geordi “It can’t be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.”

Data “True, but apparently some must have survived.”

Riker “They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.”

Data “I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as ‘red tape’. I understand that it often proves fatal.”

Riker “They’re tearing the Borg to pieces !”

Picard “Turn off the monitors. I can’t stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that!”

Today there is an amazing Authoritative DNS Service that will proxy all your sites traffic through their network of servers.  This type of network is typically referred to as a Content Delivery Network (CDN) and it usually costs a great deal of money to utilize.  Cloudflare is unique because its a the first service of it’s kind to be offered for free.  Not only does this accelerate the site but it also protects the site from hackers and DDoS attacks.  It uses a real time blocklist to prevent spammers and bots from attacking the site.

This service has been powering Furious Citizen for the last six months, I haven’t had a single spam comment try to get through since then.  Cloudflare is Awesome!  It’s providing a CDN to deliver this sites content while protecting the site.

Check it out online – http://www.cloudflare.com

What happened here?  This guy makes some cool software like Newsfire RSS for OS X.

Check out ZigZap Technologies online at http://www.zigzap.com to save up to 50% off your phone bill.

Someone has put up the Philly Area 8675309 number for sale on ebay, I guess it comes with a wireless consulting business as well.

eBay Link

About 20 minutes ago I went on their website to read about them.  Hilarity ensued.  Least professional printing company website of the year award goes to? These guys.  I won’t name names but I did take a copy of the relevant text and pasted it into word so I could add my own comments.  You can see the unedited text below this post, I will refrain from sharing my edits until I see how this all unfolds.

The 21st century has opened the door for small to midsize business to utilize digital technology. Over the past 20 years the owner of Power Graphics, MY NAME IS, has absorbed himself in marketing studies. This has been achieved through The University of Akron, reading, seminars and practical experience running his own businesses and working for reputable corporations in the Akron area. For over 10 years Nick and his representatives have been working hard to use the new technology to improve local businesses successfully! It’s called “BAB Marketing” and it’s been protected! because it’s so powerful. Contact Us today to learn more.

Program glitch much?

I am restoring my Mac today and in the process putting back on one of my favorite games Wingnuts 2, I purchased it alongside a slew of other random apps during Macheist this past year.  While I might not use much of the software I got through that I found this top down shooter to be like those arcade classics I played as a kid.  In any case the download link I have from Macheist didn’t work so I had to request a new link from them via support.  After the download I go to register it and I get one of the worst programmed error screens ever, Yo!

I hate DRM and I hate it even more when developers step on customers, now I have to submit a second support ticket to them to get this activated.  If I went over to a torrent site I would wager a copy could be obtained in an hour that didn’t put me through any of these hoops, Yo!

To sum this up let me put it this way:

• I am an American and firmly believe in the Capitolist ideals that America fostered.
• I am an humanitarian who would rather help my fellow man than kill him.
• I think the richest folks in the world today classify themselves as internationalists above any other nationality.
• No government challenges an armed populace, probably why the USA has been such a successful democracy for so long.
• My beliefs ensure freedom for all Americans who are not hurting another person.
• I think gays should be able to marry
• I think gays should be able to serve in the Armed Forces
• I think gays are people and should not have to be called gays….
• I own a .22 calibre rifle
• I want to own a .357 Magnum by the end of 2010

That is me…

One sunny day in February 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.’

The old man said, ‘Okay’, and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine again told the man, ‘Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.’

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?’

The old man looked at the Marine and said, ‘Oh, I know he’s not the President any more. I just love being reminded of it.’

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, ‘See you tomorrow, Sir.’

Congratulations Mr. President.